Bell's of Love
Feminine Embodiment and how to cultivate more pleasure
The older I get and the deeper I get into my relationship with my husband, the more I realise how important devotion to myself is.
If you’re a paid subscriber you would have read my deeply personal publication last week around the seven year itch and the need for external validation. I had quite a few revelations that took a different turn to what I originally planned for my writing. That’s what I love about this platform and my ability to write long form; the more I type the more space I make in my brain, and I’m able to decipher my thoughts and processes more easily. I am grateful you are here to witness them, and they are not just words on the pages of my journal. My hope is that you see yourself in my words, that it invites deeper reflection of your own relationships, and maybe you just don’t feel so alone in the world when you come here to read.
One of the things I wanted to expand on is my relationship with myself and my devotion to showing up for myself in a way that honours the divine feminine within.
If you’ve been following me for a while on any of my platforms, you will know I am an advocate for feminine pleasure.
You see, the older I get and the more the days, months and years roll on with my lover by my side, the more I realise that the connection I have with myself is what is going to stand the test of time - it’s got nothing to do with how much chemistry we have or how strong our relationship is.
Because the foundational work begins within.
If you don’t have a devoted practice to your own self-care, self-love, worship of your divine self, then chemistry and strength just wont exist.
I’m beginning to realise that what I desire most isn’t about how much sex I have or getting off and having a dozen orgasms, it’s how I feel.
And when I am connected to my body, my breath, and my heart, I feel more pleasure in everything that I do.
It’s not about the sex and the orgasm, it’s about how the energy circulates through my entire body.
It’s the wave upon wave of pleasure that ripples through my body without even needing to reach the peak of a clitoral orgasm - although that of course is always welcome!
It’s how expansive and creative I feel in life.
It’s in the small moments of pleasure -
the sun on my face,
the seam of my pants rubbing on my vulva when I move in my seat,
the softness of the bed sheets on my skin after a shower and sweeping the blade along my legs,
the magic I feel in my creative centre as I sit here and write these words while bird song plays in the background.
And all of those things are enhanced, the more I connect in with my heart.
The more open I am.
Through my teachings in Tantra and Sacred Sexuality I have learnt a lot about the key to a woman’s pleasure and it doesn’t come from going straight to the clitoris.
You see, the key to a woman’s pleasure, is, her heart.
I talk about the heart a lot.
It’s the name if my business “Evolving Hearts”, it’s in the name of my Substack “The Heart of Pleasure”, and honestly, it’s where all of my work stems from.
The heart is the key to everything.
It is an incredible organ.
It sends messages to all the organs in our body and it also receives messages from all things and all beings.
It is a transmitter.
It is the bridge to the divine - to our higher selves, God, The Creator - whatever higher being you are devoted to.
And, for women, it is the positive sexual pole. The place where she gives love to the world.
A woman’s breasts sit on either side of her heart, so they too play a huge part in her pleasure. They are called the “Bells of Love” in ancient Taoist traditions and considered the gateway to her heart centre and her orgasm.
The more connected a woman is to her breasts, the more open her heart is, and the more receptive to pleasure and intimacy she becomes.
I used to practice self breast massage every single day.
It’s something I teach all women who come to my workshops, circles, masterclasses etc.
But I stopped doing it.
The massage oil I loved ran out and I didn’t replace it.
My morning skin care routine followed by my breast massage, stopped happening. And my heart centre wasn’t radiating and open like it used to be.
And my pleasure was affected.
I haven’t felt as orgasmic, as open, and receptive as I usually do.
Life has felt… hard.
I haven’t felt like things have been flowing to me as easily as I know they can.
Work has felt hard.
Parenting has felt hard.
I’ve felt overwhelmed, and disconnected - not just from my husband, but from myself.
I tried to blame my husband…
I told him I needed more emotional connection.
I hadn’t been as receptive to intimacy because I needed him to connect with me on emotional level more.
But really, my heart was just screaming for more love and presence - from me.
It didn’t need emotional connection from another (because we are whole on our own), it was simply begging me to slow down, to reconnect, and open my heart once more.
I didn’t even realise I had built some walls around it.
And those walls, they don’t just protect us from not feeling the bad things, they stop the flow of energy. They stop the light from shining out.
Think of a woman when she first falls in love; she stands tall, shoulders back, breasts protruding, heart wide open.
She is a magnet!
Everyone sees her, everyone wants her.
Her heart radiance is shining so brightly she is like a beacon calling everyone to her. Life flows more easily, things come to her and happen for her.
She is juicy, open, and turned on in life and love.
Because, what we put out to the world, is what comes back.
It’s the most basic universal law of attraction.
But if you’re heart is not open, if you are not shining your light into the world, nothing will be coming back.
A woman’s receptive centre is her Yoni.
Her Womb space.
Her sacred portal of life and creation.
This is where she receives the world.
So if a woman is radiating love and joy at her heart centre, the universe has no other option than to send that back to her. Straight to her centre of creation and passion.
An open heart = an open Yoni.
Energy flows from positive to negative. So the more energy we can cultivate at the heart, the more open we become in our heart, the more receptive we become in our Womb space.
Obviously, the Yoni is where we can receive a partner, so an open heart will help a woman want to open her legs. But it’s not just about that.
A woman’s Yoni - her Womb space - is her portal of creation, passion, and purpose.
Therefore, the more open her heart is, the more radiant she shines, the easier it is for her to connect with her passions, her purpose and get her creative juices flowing. Hence why life feels easier and everything seems to be working out for her when she first falls in love.
As you can see, an open heart is the key to everything.
And so, I needed to hold myself accountable to my devotion of self love and worship.
I wanted to prioritise my pleasure practice and my connection to my heart.
I wanted to intentionally take the time more frequently to slow down, be present, and tune into my body.
And, in my dedication to helping women reconnect with their pleasure, open their hearts, and live a life with more joy and radiance, I decided why not extend that invitation to you. So, I created a new offering - Sensual Sessions.
Sensual Sessions are a twice weekly online feminine embodiment class where you get to drop in, connect with your breath, connect with your heart, and connect with your body in a deeply nourishing way.
It is open to women and female bodied people only.
Each session we will slow down, cultivate energy in the heart centre, deepen the connection between the heart and Yoni, and practice intentional breath, touch, and movement to cultivate more pleasure and joy in our day to day.
I filmed the video below to talk a little more about it and also take you through a short embodiment practice so you can get a feel for what to expect.
It is super affordable and accessible for everyone, with replays available if you join up to the Sensual Sisterhood Membership for only $5AUD a week.
I am devoted to helping more women experience more pleasure and have deeper connections not only with their lovers, but with themselves.
Because everything starts within.
And I want to hold myself accountable to my practice.
To show up for myself and remember how incredible it feels to connect sensually to my body.
For all the men who are here, thank you. I know you are here because you are just as dedicated to enhancing and understanding feminine pleasure and connection as much as I am. While Sensual Sessions is not for you, if you haven’t already, I encourage you to check out my Masculine Guide to Feminine Pleasure online immersion.
It’s a 6 part mini series designed to help men understand how feminine pleasure works and ways to connect more intimately with the women and female bodied people in your life.
Become a part of the growing community of men who want to walk a different path. Men who want to show up more embodied, more open, and ready to worship the divine feminine for all that she is.
Thank you again for being here and reading my words. It means the world to me.
If you want to support my writing more, I’d love for you to join as a paid subscriber. For only $5 per month or $50 for the year, you get more in depth publications, meditations and rituals to enhance connection and intimacy, erotic storytelling (there’s a good one coming soon!) and you get to be apart of my Substack community with the ability to comment on paid posts and connect in the group chatroom.
If you are happy to stay here for free, that is totally fine. You will get a publication similar to this, roughly once a month in your inbox.
Until next time -
With love and pleasure,
Bryony x